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This is probably going to be quite a POLEMIC read
There might be some
I don’t know
Lacerating social commentary
I write these kind of things with project spaces in mind
Where there is next to no money
Yet everyone continues to think they are famous

ANYWAY
Did you know
The word
PRECIPICE
MEANS
ON THE EDGE
And we’re on the fucking precipice again
When you say the word ‘again’ quickly you could mistakenly hear the phrase –
A  GAME
As in ‘it’s all a game’
Probably a game which is very similar to monopoly and anyway
I THINK PERSONALLY it is time for us to
Stop playing and instead
Bring out our ‘A’ game
To counteract the precipice
HOWEVER
Given that the precipice is imminent and that I’m not
In denial
The Possible titles for this piece are  –

WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU THINNER
Or
INCENSE, PLANTS AND PILLS
Or
SELF CARE RHYMES WITH CHER

And I think that this piece needs to be typed babe
because then people will know you mean Cher the ICON not the act of SHARING
And that’s all that self care really means anyway isn’t it babe listening to Cher and shaving your legs
AND
Along with self care
I’ve been trying to escape using certain phrases
One of them is T F W
The feeling when
And at the same time
I’ve really been trying to escape
the feeling when –
you wake up and look at your sent messages
and realise that at 2am
in a combined state of sleep deprived high functional organising,
a few of glasses of wine,
And er – you are coming down off  protest euphoria
you’ve sent fourteen people
(none of which you know well enough to do this)
a message in capitals
saying –
WE MUST ALL STICK TOGETHER

Heaven knows why I did that –
I also watched
Heaven knows what
I’ve, like, watched these, like, films about Berlin and New York
and I’ve been looking for tropes in the true life genre
and I’ve noted
the lead is white
she’s thin
she’s definitely on heroin
That rhymed well didn’t it – anyway
And the whole thing is very chic, and very, very avant garde
VERY NEW AGE GERMAN CINEMA
Who taught you about that one?
And I am actually feeling a bit obnoxious about using a cafetiere so much
and maybe
ACTUALLY
I do prefer instant and anyway
I also NOTED
when she shoots up
there is normally an erotic horror being played on the television within the film
and I find these women attractive and then I worry about myself and I think
I can see why actually
If I was a man at a meeting entitled Single Parents Alone Together
And also I was Hugh Grant –  acting
I also might
want to castrate myself with a bit of rusty barbed wire
And did you ever watch AntiChrist where that woman’s baby dies?
She is fucking and so she doesn’t notice when the baby crawls out the window and dies and then she ends up going insane and cutting off her own clitoris with a pair of scissors –
And
God
A content warning would have been nice
And
And I’m trying to explain – this writer is great – because they really push our ability to empathise
I like the character who fucked a man, a woman, and then a sheep and ended up preferring the sheep
I like that person
And that is why the writing is interesting and
The thing that everyone knows about me is that I love the pain of others.
I love the pain of others, and I hate Christmas
so
when something like Christmas happens I will recall a miserable story and tell it loudly, thinking to myself SO happily – this will be the story that ruined Christmas.
I actually stole the above line from a cabaret singer who made the whole pub sing The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow and I think in stealing that line I got my revenge and
I think maybe
MAYBE
I’ve noticed
That I notice things before other people do
I resent discussing them and them watching them get organised and coined and structured into other people’s articles and at the same tiiiiiime
I’m
thinking
thank fuck I’m not a critic
But also I really wouldn’t mind it if I could also focus on something for more than five minutes
And I certainly would not mind that paycheck
How IS that job application coming along there?
Basically
I’m seeing echoes of my previous words in other people’s present works
And Gucci’s not telling me the time but I watch it, anyway
And it is a good job that I’m comfortable with word play
And I don’t find it –
you know –
that embarrassing

However
on the subject of embarrassing

I went to the doctor to book a smear test and the angry receptionist said to me and my mate
WELL
HAVE YOU HAD SEX BEFORE
And I’m like, what us – together – (gesturing to me and my mate) yeah, once actually
And my friend is like god for GOD’S SAKE … so EMBARRASSED
And the receptionist is like – no no
Not the two of you together
What I mean is  – are you a virgin?
Because if you are then you don’t need one – a smear test –
And I’m thinking
DO I LOOK LIKE A VIRGIN
Why would you think that at this point in my life
I had not yet
Had sex
OF COURSE I HAVE HAD SEX
And she says ok, ok yes, yes wednesday at 10.15am

Anyway
Went a bit
OFF THE POINT AGAIN
And basically, Paris is not actually burning – yet
I know that it is cold outside but we really really don’t need to warm up that way
And I think I am doing something which could be also titled
‘The labour diaries’
Or I’m a celebrity get me out of here
Set in an office
And the joke is as mentioned at the beginning
No one is actually a celebrity
Everyone has such a big ego
That I’d better not write about them specifically
As it will just
INCREASE their ego
And it really amuses me when people are surprised that they grow out of art induced euphoria
Seth Price will do that to anyone
When I was 11 I was obsessed with Holby City
By 15 I thought Hollyoaks was great and that Holby City was shit
And by the time I was 17 I saw Hollyoaks for, you know, WHAT IT REALLY WAS
And this extreme love and attention had transferred over to Tracey Emin
Who turned out to be a massive tory
Basically, art is no different to Hollyoaks
and Only Fools Vote Tory and I –
Think if I ever voted Tory, that would be the point when I would suggest my friends got me sectioned
Except – there is no mental health service left due to the Tories so that wouldn’t work
ANYWAY
I always liked Only Fools and Horses
I never really
Went off that programme

Emily Pope


Biography

Emily Pope (b.1990) is an artist based in London. She is interested in the currency of sociopolitical and/or feminist monologues, and in how pain can be manipulated through humour. She writes and makes t-shirts, bags, once made a stack of newspapers, takes photographs and is currently working on writing and directing a sitcom. Recent exhibitions & projects include: ASP, ICA London; Feral Kin, Auto Italia, London; The Court Summons, Ladette Space, London; Tarantellegra, Hester, New York; and together with Ruth Angel Edwards: Got 2 B, a radio show on Resonance FM. It seems she has now been kicked off the radio, which may be her own fault due to abysmal timekeeping and swearing on air, so she has archived the project on the internet. Emily has a Masters in Critical Writing from the Royal College of Art, and studied at the School of the Damned, a free postgraduate art course run by and for its students.

http://www.emilypope.co.uk

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