After carefully scrolling through the comment section of different online art platforms, we selected few a comments, discarded many, and, in a montage-like operation, created the dialogues and poems of this on-going collection. The comments haven’t been modified or corrected, and are used as found objects to be combined into different structures of meaning.
There is not a defined reading order, and it is possible to jump from one fragment to the other. Of course, comment is free.
All that is Solid Melts into Air
– “So dismal. Predatory capitalism, maybe they will make a version of altruistic and ethical capitalism, but it probably wouldn’t be very popular”
– “They already did it’s called socialism. Communism is after that and anarchism is last.”
15 minutes fame – 1
– “How does someone become British most influential thinker?”
– “My suggestion is to take Duchamp’s Fountain and turn it back into a urinal.”
Gentrification
“So, apparently the greatest crime of the MOMA regime is to actually make the place popular, and let it be overrun with filthy proles instead of a few aesthetes in turtlenecks.”
“Don’t get too attached – Isis will probably be bulldozing it in a couple of years.”
Inside the White Cube
– “I have more important things to worry about in my life than an art gallery. I don’t need to see shit in a can, half a cow, a tent with post it notes on or an unmade bed…I’m a bit Victorian in my museum tastes and dislike the sparse, handson, interactive style. I enjoy museums that are stuffed full of stuff: art, animals, swords, gold, things hanging from the ceiling the more the better.”
– “Well, you can certainly ruin an institution by displaying Modern Art inside it.”
15 minutes fame – 2
-“How does someone become British most influential thinker?”
– “What a career move death is.”
Eternal Return
Poetry and art shouldn’t be held hostage to anyone’s feelings or what’s deemed to be “good taste.” Just watch, analyze and be happy you don’t live in a nation that doesn’t protect speech and art.
Or, just go burn paintings you don’t like with the rest of the Nazis.
Spoiler Alert
If you think this is weird look up Breath by Samuel Beckett. Its a play thats about 25 seconds long and is basically consists of a stage filled with very specific rubbish and the sounds of a birth cry play over it…
And then it ends.
Damien Hirst
-“I dislike the way contemporary artists colonize an idea – usually someone else’s idea. The dots are originally from scientific manuals and the spin paintings are obviously from funfairs.”
-“Hirst’s copies are much better, visually, than original, more accurate, perfect, purified. His assistants did a great work.”
I Heard it Through the Grapevine
Marvin Gaye Chetwynd? I feel a lawsuit coming on…
On articulating an Opinion
-“As an artist my observation has been this… Many an artist is a crappy philosopher, often capable of incredible foresight through intuition but unable to wholly comprehend their own gathered metaphysical data. The art an artist creates is a manifestation of gathered data in an attempted to better understand themselves and the world around them, or to simply state an opinion. If they’re wise, sometimes they make poignant observations about processes and civilization. If their not wise, then they usually base their “data” off of bullshit or canned unoriginal ideas. Other times they just makes things because they’re fun, cool, or beautiful to look at and nothing more”
-“b..b..but I don’t understand it, so I have to hate it.”
Jeff Koons
-“His art is just ‘american’ that’s why american’s love it. Big, boisterous, extreme & epic—like a Michael Bay movie. Not saying that’s a bad thing. In art you should be extreme”
-“So his art is about eating the whole bag of Oreo and feeling good about it.”
Advice to Young Critics
I never read art reviews because they tend to be the product of pretentious twats who need to get out more writing about trash produced by pretentious twats who need to get out more. But when the headline contains hyperbole, I get curious.
Male Gaze
“…all art is a form of self-portraiture”
“all i saw was titties.
Her insecurities, my lust …beautiful lines”
Art in the Era of Mechanical Reproduction
– “I know it’s a complicated argument but I do think that when an artist gets to the point where they no longer physically produce their work it ceases to to be art and becomes commodity.”
– “Remember one of the first things Da Vinci did when he moved his studio to France was find the best Draughts man in the world, yes not France or Europe and he also looked for painters and other skilled people. I am not sure if we can define art as the skill of painting only?“
– “The Renaissance Masters would be heavily drinking to forget this shit”
Finally
“I believe that it is practically impossible to tell the difference between pastiche and real art commentary. It’s an entire branch of Poe’s law.”
“I agree. I wish conceptual satires would stop wasting our time”
Giulia Morucchio & Irene Rossini
Giulia Morucchio and Irene Rossini met in IUAV University of Venice in 2011 and have collaborated ever since. Their interests includes: the relation between art and architecture, sound experimentations and spontaneous or domestic forms of social criticism and political resistance.
Featured Image: Sans Soleil (film still), 1983, Chris Marker
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